from +HIRS+/Peeple Watchin' split 7",
released July 23, 2015
Dezlan never said much he just smiled at my pleasantries, like any kid his age there were things he couldn't name about a fucked up family, the spectre of his womanhood, impending adolescent trauma and a femininity I tried to save. There was a flicker in his eye, a recognition hurt and hidden at the sight of his own kind. Fear of the unknown inside, and reoccuring visions of a different life. Mecca asked are you a boy or are you a girl, I said "girl, I'm a little bit of both". We went right back to playing tag or whatever game it was. Her love was unconditional but her mother didn't trust transexuals. There was a flicker in her eye, a recognition of complications in the ideas memorized. The gender prisons we all live in...that kid was gonna burn em to the ground. We're gonna burn 'em to the ground.
Got an empty vile of Estradiol on my bedside table. I like to pretend that the prescription didn't go, that I overdosed, on the run from a dysphoric episode. Went dreaming of a place where I reclaim my body from the gallows. Just let me sleep it off. Wake up rested and unharmed. And in the morning, you'll see a girl, fuck the world. Dear anybody with enough money can you fix me up? Cause the narrative says that I'm unfit to live yet their the ones who fucked us over. Why would anyone step out of line when the repercusions are so high? When we're beaten and shamed for showing who we are inside. They got a problem with me, call it G.I.D., but the problem's not mine it's society's. Go fuck your pathology.
Recorded and mixed by Jason Duguay ("Jay The Milky") at Project Sound Studio, Haverhill, MA, Jan. 2014. Group vocals thanks to Gen, Jaclyn, Tom, and Josh <3